2014 was a year of testing and endurance!
I trampled over a lot of demons and had to fight for me! There were so many conflicts within myself. There was a battle in my mind about who exactly I was, what exactly was my purpose , and where was I really heading.
Despite what your going through, Your not called to let the enemy back up in a corner, lay down roll over and play dead.
– Pastor Tammy McManus
I sometimes would honestly just lie in my bed and just cry because the test were so hard and I wasn’t sure if I was qualified. I wasn’t sure anymore if I belonged or fit in anymore. The battle was raging in me and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to fight it. I was going to church every Wednesday and Sunday , I would hear great sermon and receive a great word, but Monday would come and by Tuesday I was in desperate need for God again. Wednesday service would boost me back , but by Saturday I was a messed. I prayed every morning and read books and articles to feed my spirit while I worked overnight. I just couldn’t shake the enemy. The more I fought the harder he would come. I was spent, I was tired everything wasn’t going right. I wanted to QUIT throw in the towel and just be a normal Christian. A Christian that just attends church service, tithes, and serve nothing more , nothing less. That would make him stop chasing me… BUT God said I wasn’t called to back up in a corner, lay down roll over and play dead! So I fought!
God sent me a dream and told me that I belonged and that He has work for me to do. To keep on pressing on. So I continued to walk and dusted myself off and for a while it was all good.
Call on the name of El Roi! Yahweh El roi! Yahweh El roi! The God who sees me
– Pastor Darrell McManus
Then the enemy came back and with every attack I fought a little harder but I was it such bad shape. I began to call upon God. Yahweh El roi!!!! This evolved my prayer life when I don’t know what else to say I just say His name!
At our Christmas leadership party my pastor said something so amazing he spoke directly to my heart and was hearing directly from God heart. He talked about not quitting and not giving up. It was so simple, nothing fancy or profound revelation , but when he said that it felt like God poured something warm over my heart and it was the best feeling ever and I wanted to let the tears flow down my face to match what was going on inside of me. It was a good feeling!
As this year closes and with only one more day left, I’m thankful for the test and it brings me great Joy to know the enemy wasn’t stopping that he wanted me to give up and throw in the towel! I’m so Joyful because it reassures me that God has called me and chosen me. That I do belong and I’m suppose to be here. Now I know why James says to rejoice (James 1:2-3) and I understand why I should.
So here to the test and trials to 2014! Thank you! For you have showed me that I’m a fighter and reassured me that I’m called by God. 2014 the roots were made strong, 2015 were the fruit is seen.