Here’s to 2014…

2014 was a year of testing and endurance!

I trampled over a lot of demons and had to fight for me! There were so many conflicts within myself. There was a battle in my mind about who exactly I was, what exactly was my purpose , and where was I really heading.

Despite what your going through, Your not called to let the enemy back up in a corner, lay down roll over and play dead.

– Pastor Tammy McManus

I sometimes would honestly just lie in my bed and just cry because the test were so hard and I wasn’t sure if I was qualified. I wasn’t sure anymore if I belonged or fit in anymore. The battle was raging in me and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to fight it. I was going to church every Wednesday and Sunday , I would hear great sermon and receive a great word, but Monday would come and by Tuesday I was in desperate need for God again. Wednesday service would boost me back , but by Saturday I was a messed. I prayed every morning and read books and articles to feed my spirit while I worked overnight. I just couldn’t shake the enemy. The more I fought the harder he would come.  I was spent, I was tired everything wasn’t going right. I wanted to QUIT throw in the towel and just be a normal Christian.  A Christian that just attends church service, tithes, and serve nothing more , nothing less. That would make him stop chasing me… BUT God said I wasn’t called to back up in a corner, lay down roll over and play dead! So I fought!

God sent me a dream and told me that I belonged and that He has work for me to do. To keep on pressing on. So I continued to walk and dusted myself off and for a while it was all good.

Call on the name of El Roi! Yahweh El roi! Yahweh El roi! The God who sees me

– Pastor Darrell McManus

Then the enemy came back and with every attack I fought a little harder but I was it such bad shape.  I began to call upon God. Yahweh El roi!!!! This evolved my prayer life when I don’t know what else to say I just say His name!

At our Christmas leadership party my pastor said something so amazing he spoke directly to my heart and was hearing directly from God heart. He talked about not quitting and not giving up. It was so simple, nothing fancy or profound revelation , but when he said that it felt like God poured something warm over my heart and it was the best feeling ever and I wanted to let the tears flow down my face to match what was going on inside of me. It was a good feeling!

As  this year closes and with only one more day left, I’m thankful for the test and it brings me great Joy to know the enemy wasn’t stopping that he wanted me to give up and throw in the towel! I’m so Joyful because it reassures me that God has called me and chosen me. That I do belong and I’m suppose to be here. Now I know why James says to rejoice (James 1:2-3) and I understand why I should.

So here to the test and trials to 2014! Thank you! For you have showed me that I’m a fighter and reassured me that I’m called by God. 2014 the roots were made strong, 2015 were the fruit is seen.



How to save a life Pt 2

Pensive little girl.

As humans we are so quick to judge, but judgment limits the lives we could save! -Aldininika Darensbourg

Who as ever had that moment where your walking down the street completely minding your own business, rocking out to your favorite music, enjoying the breeze, or rushing somewhere and then God prompts you to speak to someone?? Anyone? Of course everyone have been there before. So most of the time this is how it goes for me

Me: Such a beautiful day *Jamming to Jamie Grace” I’m so happy it’s not freezing prefect weather. Can’t wait to eat two more blocks

Random Stranger: walks pass looks at me

Me: that’s weird they are staring

God: Speak to them

Me: No way they are weird , just staring no speaking *continues to walk*

God: Speak to them

Me: Ok I will *looks for the person*

Me: Ugh they gonna think I’m weird, They wont listen to me….

Random Stranger: Gets on streetcar

Me: oh that must wasn’t God because surely he wouldn’t sent them on streetcar, they were in a rush, probably heading to work, would’ve ignored me anyway **feels guilt ***

So yes God was indeed telling me to speak to that person ,but I was so concerned about the person not liking me( judging) and them being weird. I just lost a life. What if I was firefighter? There is a burning building and there’s a little girl abut 5 or 6 standing by the window looking out yelling franticly and tears flowing down their face, but I’m to afraid to put out the equipment to help her. I constantly let thoughts of she won’t jump because she will be to afraid and won’t trust me. So I don’t put out the equipment , because what the sense of wasting the time to put it out if they won’t jump anyway. But its my job so I began to do it and BOOM! The window she was at the explodes from the inside and she’s gone! I waited to late and lost a life!

That’s the same way it is when we are to witness to someone, or get a word from God and don’t act immediately when the command is given. We allow people’s souls to die everyday when we selfishly resist the voice of God. Once we do that we allow a door for the enemy to walk right in and flood our mines with thoughts. I have heard we have 10 second window to act on the word of God then the enemy comes in. Once you delay the harder it is to obey God.

So today let’s began to obey God’s word the moment we hear it and not let the enemy talk us out of it! No matter if its witnessing, hearing a direct word from God, or anything you may have or will deal with. Obeying God at the moment is obedience, delayed obedience is disobedience.

That’s how you Save a Life!

“If you love me, you will obey what I command.”
-John 14:15

Thank you for reading! Until next time Tons of Love and Hugs!

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To read How to save a life part 1 Click here

Priority Check: Faith

What consumes your life?
you are what you allow to consume you?

So many thoughts of how will I make it has plague my mind lately. I couldn’t see past anything I couldn’t see how can God help such a hopeless situation.

I heard the sermons I’ve read the books I even got the T-shirt on having faith the size of mustard seed and how you can mountains with that but the only thing I couldn’t seem to get is how to grasp the actual thing. So there I struggled for months and tried to believe that God will come through. One way or another.
I said it’s my fault I’m the reason why I’m struggling. God is punishing me for my mistakes so I deserve this right?? After all if I would have just been a little better steward of my money time and positions I wouldn’t be in this situation right it’s my fault got has punish me.

Wrong he hasn’t punish me He still yet was reaching out asking me to step out in faith and believe He will come through. He constantly kept telling me to stop condemning myself and realize even though we may fall He offers forgiveness and unending grace and a helping hand to help us in our times of need.

I have became a condemn soul. I consume myself with the thoughts that it was all my fault that are brought this upon myself that I was to blame and it’s all my fault and I deserve the punishment.

But I’m not…well unless I choose to continue to believe that Jesus didn’t die for our mistakes unless I continue to make Jesus death in vain by condemning myself any further.

So after I realize that honestly it wasn’t like I was stopped condemning myself it was still a struggle. I had to constantly remind myself that I was going to come through and it was hard. Because having faith isn’t necessarily the easiest thing after all they say now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

So I decided to be still the rest in God
I have decided to believe in the holy word that He will provide.

I chose to rest upon Romans 8:28 “and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

I chose to have faith in the impossible situations that the God that I serve moves in the impossible situations that brings him glory and allow the unbeliever to CHOOSE to believe.

We all have a choice to give up it and wither away or to allow God to move into impossible situations. Even though I was a believer I was an unbeliever in the impossible but I chose to believe.